The Underbelly of Security

. . . or how our protection becomes a prison

So my two friends, immunity and exemption followed me from childhood into adult life. They didn’t cause any problems as long as they weren’t needed. Now, as long as I didn’t need their help, everything’s good. In other words, as long as I did not have to play my wild card, my underbelly was safe.  

But the moment my security was threatened, immunity and exemption would rise to the occasion and save the day by making me feel like I had special privileges that other unfortunate souls did not possess.  As long as they were at peace, meaning as long as my security was not challenged, they did not have to show up. As long as my life was running in a way that confirmed my psyche in how my life should run, they weren’t pressed into action.

There’s nothing wrong with either immunity or exemptions in the right setting achieving the rights of humans and protecting us from diseases. But these had become my way of life to skirt responsibility, avoid conflict of any kind and a whole host of other issues. They became my masters!

Again I say securing comfort is not wrong, when no wrong has been done to secure it. The tab for securing what I felt I needed to feel safe was paid for by others. I became the captain of my ship that sailed the tranquil seas of least resistance. As I was ignorantly trying to save my life at the expense of others, I was really losing it.

When I felt like I was in control, I was actually in a bad way and didn’t know it. Now when I feel like I’m out of control, and refuse to call on my dark friends for help, I find rest in letting go of the control and manipulation.

So, I have learned this;

• When we use walls to protect us, we are building a prison.
• Faith does not grow in the house of certainty.
• The perception of what is possible is on the other side of fear.

I hope this connects with you in some way.

Thanks for reading. You’re braver than you know.